January 2012
13 posts
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My name is Chris Piascik. I’m an independent illustrator and designer living in CT, and for the past four years, I’ve been drawing something, anything, every Monday through Friday. December 21st marks my 1000th daily drawing. 1000th is a weird word, so that will be the last time I use it here.
1000 days of drawing by Chris Piascik. Support via kickstarter.
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Why is it so hard to fucking move on already expectations are unreal and always in the subconscious. Get the fuck out of my head.
one year later, i still cannot get over the fact that exactly at this date, one year ago i was half way around the world, freezing my ass off in the cold winter, battling those dreadful doc marts boots and learning the meaning of complete freedom and independence.
i still miss lulea, sweden so badly. the seasons, the friends, the bubble i got caught up with. doesn’t really matter if its...
detachment. isolation. yearning.
I feel some sort of high getting drowned out by the meds. They’re supposed to be drowsy, but my mind is not letting me sleep.
Being annoyed doesn’t even begin to describe the frustration i have towards these idiots i have subconsciously surrounded myself with.
I might just start seeing double with my eyeballs rolling way faster than i can move my head.
Its just a state of mind. I miss you.
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its depressing to look at masters programme overseas which requires at least a 2nd upper class honours. and cost a bomb too. my parents will never approve of this.
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this family has reached a whole new level of fuckery. and you for even resorting to sucking ass. what the fuck is wrong with you people? have you nothing better to do?
seriously fuck the both of you numbnuts.
December 2011
45 posts
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I would do it all over again, in a blink of an eye if i could. Just better, wilder and smarter than the last. A little less hopeful, a little more cavalier about everything. After all everything becomes a little bit more pointless as time goes by. New years celebrations, wishes and resolutions are a tad bit overrated- they are after all just passing time. But 2011 was definitely something to...
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How To Survive Living In A Foreign Country «... →
Take comfort in knowing that once you got beyond your country’s borders you already began winning. If you can stay out for at least a year than there’s a very real chance you’ll be able to stay out in the world indefinitely.
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How To Screw Your Life Up After You Graduate... →
Try to find this freedom, this satisfaction and the elusive form of happiness by attaining nothing and everything.
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this bitch of a neck strain is fucking with my sleeping patterns. fucking shit heal already dammit. still taking your goddamn painkillers all the way from lulea. i think they’re just specifically meant for migraines though.
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seriously can some people get anymore shallow than this?
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Some days/nights i give in. And i facebook stalk you all over again as if i didn’t learn anything from trying to get back on my own this past month. Its like i’m back to square one and hating myself for being so weak.
I need the familiarity. I miss it so much, but yet the only thing that i want so bad, can end up being the one thing that destroys me.
Sometimes i hope you suffer...
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we will all be fine, i hope. in time to come, we will all be fine.
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I made you cry, a few times in which those rare occurrences you tried to hide it away by hugging me real tightly and sucking the tears back in before you put up that strong facade of yours. I made you cry, so that must have meant that i mean something to you. I was something meaningful to you at some point in your life, and that made you cry like a baby, worse still when you were drunk and saying...
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been there, done that. always the guy’s confidante, never the guy’s keeper.
shitfuck. i don’t really enjoy listening to your goddamn problems.
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so much worry, they’re killing us all bit by bit. my hair is falling out by the handful, and my mind is taking over. we are all falling apart.
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while many of my peers are off chasing their ambitions, achieving once in a lifetime experiences and paving their own paths towards success, here i am day in and day out living life as a couch potato, filled with regret, resentment and worries about the future, the past and the present. as i while away afternoons thinking about unnecessary things and getting riled up over things that have passed,...
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replaying the old memories like a broken record player and torturing myself time and again isn’t helping me move on. and god knows how impatient i am.
i am taking a step forward, so this better not hurt.
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one day
i didn’t want to let the tears run. i havent been doing so for the past month, the past few weeks i’ve been trying to get my shit together. to move on, to act, to pretend like everything is fine when it well has not, never been since the day we stopped talking. i didn’t want to let the tears run, i think about you alot, everyday, at almost every second but i never have the energy...
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I havent felt more shitty than i have today.
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Is it just me or does watching too many episodes of how to make it in america with byran greenberg in my face remind me of a certain someone from a very painful memory?
That jaw, that stubble, that smile. Shit.
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If only i had the courage to tell you i miss you, i hate you for what you did and how much i truly want you back, even if it kills me.
And then have even more courage to deal with the disappointment that will ensue knowing you will never reciprocate the same feelings towards me.
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i cannot for the life of me imagine myself in one of these extravagant and extremely exorbitant weddings i have been to this weekend. Such weddings are always in excess, and judging by the guest list, about 75% of the people who are invited rarely get a chance to meet and greet the bride and groom, and the wedding couple has about the same amount of chance questioning who the hell these people...
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Been almost 6 months, and still missing luleå so goddamn terribly.
I have about 85% heart to get out of this country once i graduate. The other 15% is the inability to live with myself knowing i could potentially rip my dad’s heart into pieces if i had a life on the other side of the world. I don’t really care about anyone else, but it would break my heart if yours ever would.
Do...
Five Absolute Truths Of Breaking Up « Thought... →
2. There is no such thing as a mutual break up.
It may feel mutual, look mutual, and be hailed as mutual to everyone you tell, but the truth is that someone in the relationship wanted the break up more than the other person. There may be an agreement that things aren’t working, but no one wants to be the person to come to that decision a day later than the other.
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How can someone who’s no longer in your life and who lives miles away, cause so much grief and pain?
Perhaps its a good thing if facebook actually shuts down.
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It always feels good after a run. My chest will hurt, and then my lungs, my legs. And for that split second the pain numbs everything out. Just for that instance.
But for now, all i can ever think about is a subway club and salad. Will travel for food tomorrow.
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i irk and squirm at the sight of your presence. your facebook updates, your pop up on skype. something from all those activity pulls some heartstrings, and yet i can’t muster all the pain and anguish that’s enough to drive me to tears and insanity.
i guess i really am moving on. i miss you less each day, but its still lonely.